It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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