i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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