I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
