Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize