Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
