So drunk, too bad you don't want this
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
