I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
