I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
