You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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