I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
