i think my tv is drunk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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