So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
