Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
