Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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