My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
