You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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