Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we're making bets on your personal life
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
