Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
