he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
