HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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