even my farts smell like vagina
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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