Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think my fart just growled at me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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