dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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