i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
