I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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