so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
