no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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