I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
