she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
not ubering you a puppy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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