so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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