I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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