If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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