the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's shark week go big or go home
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
