I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
