My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I looked at my own cervix.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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