I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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