There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
