His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
