Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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