so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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