After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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