If i come over, it means nothing
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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