I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You made out with two different species that night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize