This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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