Dual....:-)
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
