everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
