If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize