you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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