Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
