xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
