Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
