You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
