I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the condom got lost in my hair
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
