this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
