Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
