Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
