Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
