Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
