So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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