I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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