I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
