He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
