When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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