Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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