Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize