He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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