The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
