i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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