i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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